Unpacked Feelings

From confusion to an ah-ha moment--how the Daily Pages practice continues to be a strong resource for emotional development.

For the past week, I have been using my Daily Pages to work out my feelings about my partner’s travel this month. He’s a photographer who will take himself - and usually me - to far-off places to capture images of landscapes, cityscapes, sunsets, and people being people. But I’m not with him this time.

He’s exploring Ireland with one of his best friends, who happens to be a woman, who also happens to be one of his models (and has been for about 15 years). Without telling a story that isn’t mine, it would be a waste of my time to worry about what they’ll get up to without me. They have a long history of traveling together and frankly, it’s just not like that.

At my core, I am happy for him to go and have his windswept, rainy photo adventure across the Emerald Isle, which will fill his feel-good tank to extraordinary levels. I am also happy for time alone in the house. Oh my god am I happy for time alone in any house! Especially after 2020. And 2021. And large parts of 2022.

And most of 2023 so far.

But these negative little thoughts keep poking at me, goading me to feel jealous and sad about being left behind. Realistically, when I apply my brainy parts to it, I know I have nothing to be jealous about.