Club MEG ~ Session 2

A recap of what we focused on in Session 2 for everyone, as well as a copy of Exercise 2 for Club MEG members and paying subscribers.

The first month of a long-term workshop like this one is dedicated to data collection, or as I like to say (because I am my own HR department), it’s when we fuck around and find out just how motivated we are to make room for working on our goals.

The first week returned a variety of results in our members. I’ll give you three examples (I don’t want to wear you out):

1. Time and place became a problem for one of us. The go-getter who’s been preparing for this challenge had a plan. She’s been itching to engage, but dammit! life pitched a dastardly curve ball right at her face (extra days in the office, off-site in-person meetings, general annoyances along these lines) and she had to duck and change direction. So, she did. She adjusted her proverbial sails and improvised an unexpected but effective time and place to write. It’s not what she expected, but double dammit! she’s making it work. I’m so impressed!

2. Access to content and information became a problem for another of us. The go-getter who’s been just as diligent as the one above and also had a plan, dammit! but instead of a curve ball, she got a wall. Or a troll. Let’s go with troll (they’re more fun to write about). This troll is an obstacle that stands directly in the writer’s path, hell bent on preventing or at least delaying her way forward. The tools and instruction she needed just wasn’t available last week. It’s like he shoved what she needed behind him and just stood there, taunting her. Check back later, k-thanks-bye. In response, she could have done a. but she did b. (because she’s a badass):

   1. She could have thrown sticks and stones at the troll and banged her head against his big fat chest (Ew. That’s hairy and stinky. And bouncy, but not in a good way) and kicked his shins and got nowhere, because trolls are notoriously immovable, lack empathy, and think human frustration is HILarious.

   2. Instead, she veered off into the woods and wildflowers that she loves and took a different path that winds around the troll and his territory, honing her skills on something different, ever watchful for a way to outwit him at the first opportunity and get what she needs. He cannot stop her from writing; she just went ahead and wrote something else. Like I said, she’s a badass.

3. Fantasy and overconfidence became a problem for our third go-getter. It’s me. I’m the third go-getter. But I flailed. I fucked around with arrogance and found out I haven’t earned that mindset yet. Blerp. I did the word count math and broke down what I need to write every week for the first three months of 2025 in order to finish my rough draft on March 31. Then, I actively did not prioritize writing time because - you want to know why? - because I blew off my daily word count as something easy and whatever. Done it all before. Can write 800-1000 words in my sleep. I got this. I don’t need to sit down and write today. Go bother someone else with your dumb insistence that I need to get my butt in a chair and write already! Reader. That’s how I only wrote 722 words that first week instead of 4500 and put myself behind on my own timetable. Double blerp.

I mean, it wasn’t just my arrogance that screwed me. Despite knowing myself way better than this, I decided I could wing those 4500 words. Just snatch a bunch of scenes out of thin air and let them sort themselves out for plot and story throughline. Just sit down and write the next 900 words of this very difficult thing I’m writing, without thinking it through first, like I’m some kind of psychopath. Just flergging flerg. I could not do any of it.

My current WIP is extremely precious to me. Like, Gollum Precious-precious. I know in my bones that I can’t pace myself like I’m writing frippery. I mean, it might end up being a bunch of frippery for everyone else, but for me it’s meaningful (insert whiny voice here). But knowing this, did I bother to include the emotional workload in my how-to-pace-myself-to-write-90,000-words-in-3-months math? Nope.

Triple. Blerp.

Okay, so who cares about my week and why would I make myself look bad when I’m the coach and everyone thinks I’m so perfect (stop it! It’s so embarrassing!) (insert batting lashes here) and I’m supposed to have this shiznit locked down already?

Because what we really got into in Session 2, and will get into some more in Session 3, is how to recognize a values conflict when it slaps us in the face, and what to do about it.

The go-getters above figure it out. The rest of us did not. They had already decided in their own damn bones that their top priority was to write something somewhere somehow. So, they did.

The rest of us let other things slide in and take priority. But none of it was flaky. There were very real reasons we could not honor our Club MEG intentions that week.

I’m not about to put anyone else on blast, so you’re going to have to read more about my week to understand what I’m talking about re: values conflicts and how they can fuck you up and make you feel like you didn’t have a choice, and that you failed yourself at the same time.

Here’s my week and what I did instead of writing, and what the values conflicts were. I’m doing this for your sake, so maybe take notes if you find it really hard to honor your commitments to yourself and sit your ass down and write.

SUNDAY: I know I went grocery shopping and did some chores. Probably made soup. I don’t really remember. I thought I had plenty of time to write. No values conflict here. Just arrogance (and the refusal to admit I wasn’t ready to write the next part).

MONDAY: Met with an old friend for lunch. We moved from the restaurant to the bar and two hours became five hours. That sounds bad, but we ended up connecting in a way that is already paying off for both of us in our careers. Client session later that night. Too worn out to write. Values conflict: Reconnecting with someone who is really important to me and spending some productive, important time exploring business ideas and opportunities vs writing. Besides, I thought I had plenty of time to write.

TUESDAY: Full day — Elevenses, afternoon with the grandkiddo, definitely made soup, meal-prepped, and did chores. Spent a couple of hours watching TV with Moms. Values conflict: Hanging out with Moms vs writing. Time with her is super important right now. So is cooking and doing chores for her. For reasons. (I learned she’s equally happy if I’m in the next room, so I’ve moved my laptop downstairs to work in her vicinity. Loneliness is not kind to the health of older people).

WEDNESDAY: I went to the Write In at Jay’s with the intention of writing at least one full scene of my book in the company of other writers. Instead, I created and color-coded and disseminated the food/grocery spreadsheet for the Write in La Paz retreat at the end of the month. Then I spent a few hours with the grandkiddo. Then I made a bunch of retreat-relevant posts in the FB group and made a very scary phone call (dentist), then proceeded to learn how to use What’s App for communities and groups so I could pull all the retreat goers over from FB and get the ball rolling over there for sharing details like weather, flights, hotel check-ins, etc (Because FB = ick rn. Amiright?). And capped the night off with a Flash Fiction workshop. I don’t know if I even thought about my goal after I opened Google Sheets in the morning. Values conflict: duties and responsibilities to the writers I’m taking on retreat vs writing.

THURSDAY: I remember giving up on this day with a deep sigh, somewhere around 10am. Unexpected errands for Moms, hanging out with the grandkiddo, and psyching myself up for the dentist took it out of me (they ended up rescheduling, which was anticlimactic for sure). I ended up taking a walk specifically to think about how to write the relationship between the mother and son in my book and what that arc looks like, which was helpful. But then I messed around with baking cheese and making eggless chaffles for a stupid long time. Did I write? Nope. Values conflict: Help Moms vs writing. Unexpected errands derailed my day, but I chose to let them because who else was going to run them for her? They were 100% necessary and I needed to do them.

FRIDAY: Morning workout, haircut, writing. FINALLY! I wrote 722 words in time for Proof of Write that night. I’m telling you — that Proof of Write is the world’s best motivator for getting 800-1000 new words on the page.

Looking back at my week, I’m learning a lot about my values conflicts and where my head and heart are right now.

It also helps me remember that I was in choice the whole time, and since I made (most of) my choices based on my values, I made good choices. This allows me to give myself grace, meaning it takes away the impulse to beat myself up for not writing. I was being a good girl. I didn’t write, but I was still a good girl. I did not write, but I also did not fail.

Phew! Because who has the energy and brain space to carry guilt and self-loathing around when all you did was your very best, albeit in other areas of your life?

But I did not write. And that goes against my values. What now?

Understanding your values conflicts so you give yourself grace instead of beating yourself up is one thing - and it’s a good thing - but how does it help you actually sit your ass down and work on your WIP?

That’s what we’re going to figure out in Session 3.

We made a beginning in Session 2 with the following exercise. It’s designed to reveal some values conflicts that are specifically attached to the desire — dare I say yearning — to achieve the goals and intentions each Club MEG member set for themselves in Session 1.

The immediate job in front of each of us is to make achieving our goals so compelling that nothing stops us from attending to the process when, where, and how we said we would. I mean, we might have to adjust exact time and location, and maybe plan one day and write the next, but you know what I mean.

When something derails your plans, you need to have that WIP calling you back like a siren when we’re free again, ready to work and eagerly anticipating engagement with your project.

With that last bit in mind, I’m going wrap up the public part of this post and get to the private part that’s only for the eyes of the Club MEG members and the Live/Write Balance founding subscribers.

Thanks for reading this far with us!